Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Is Michelle Obama a Hottie?

The answer is simple - YES.
I am tempted to leave it at that, but might as well say why.
Good looking, deep thinking, intelligent.
This is no Bimbo here, this is a woman who can attract guys based on her brains, not that the body is anything to complain about.
My hope is that she will do the things that her hubby cannot do due to him having to be impartial.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Are Bimbo's Worthwhile?

There is something to be said for the straightforward, Grade 4 achieving bimbo. They look hot, they are great as a trophy girlfriend, all your guy friends will think that you are a hero, etc etc.

But not all Bimbo's are what they appear to be. There are a whole bunch who are the 'I will look like a Bimbo to get my own way' types.
They are the ones who have discovered the power in NOT having sex.
Here is how to identify the Non-Bimbo Bimbo.
The look will be hot, they will typically dress to the same styles as those who are many years younger.
The body will be well looked after - no helpings of 6 burgers for these babies! They have the power that the hot looking body gives them, and they intend to keep it.
They will refer to their past a lot, yet give no firm information. This is to give an air of mystery, as well as make them an unknown quantity.
When pushed for sex, even after many dates, they will instead make vague references to other guys that they do have, or have had sex with. This is to give the impression that they are sexually inclined, but the truth is they are basically frigid.
They will typically have a habit or other expenses that they need funding for. Drink, drugs, maybe. Or maybe they need a dude to work on their car, or their house.

So, if you get involved with a Non-Bimbo, you should now be able to see the signs after a few dates. At that time they will probably be reassuring you that they are really attracted to you, but right now 'only as a friend' but they will 'see how it goes, it might develop'.

The way to check this out is to fail to chase them for a while, and make them do the work. They will quickly fade away, only to keep popping up in your life once in a while, when they are at a loose end, or need some help with something.

But, the true Bimbo is different. What a delight. So simple in the mind. No political discussions, no general knowledge discussions. They live to have a good time, and then go to bed with the guy who gave them the good time. And the more sophisticated he is, the more awestruck they are.
Like going to a strip club, or going to bed with a woman with a large chest, every man should have a Bimbo in his life at some point, however short-lived it may be.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

What A Guy Shouldn't Say In Bed

Here is a list of some stuff I was thinking of that would totally tick off most women:

Oh MY God! Those boobs sure are droopy/small/weird/ugly!
Are those ripples on your thighs caused by cellulite?
Those (enter clothing name) always look like crap.
I am too tired to bother with making any effort tonight, but still want stuff, is that OK?
It is funny how all that flab compresses and spills over the top of your belt.
I think I just peed in bed.
You must have peed, the bed is wet.
Of course I farted, I'm a guy.
Of course I belched loudly and with pride, I'm a guy.
I have to fart, I hope that is OK.
My other wife/girlfriend had better (enter body part) than you have.
You have PMS, that is why you are in a bad mood.
Why do 'you chicks' always (enter annoying thing chicks sometimes do).

There could be more, but it might get too bad, even for me!

Friday, August 29, 2008

Actual Case Of Wife's Useless Directions (Don't tell her I did this, she might cut me in the middle of the night)

So, the Missus phones at around 9am, saying she had locked the car keys in the car! So, I had to go 60 miles away to open it for her. Then another 60 miles back.
Here are both the directions she gave me, and then below them the actual route I took.

she I am at Ravenswood rd
me Where is that?
she Near Clayton Park.
me Is that Clayton Park Rd?
she Yes.
me So you are at the junction of Ravenswood and Clayton Park Rd, is that correct?
she Yes, you go across Lacewood.
me Where is that?
she You know Joseph Howe Drive?
me No , I know the name, but don't know which road it is to look at. OK, so, I go down the highway 102, and.......
she You come down highway 102 and you know the park by the bridge? (Note - this is in the centre of the City)
me Yes, but I don't know how to get to it.
she Ok, well, you should be able to find it ok. Go out of the park, and ...........
me Do I turn left, or right out of the park?
she You turn right, and go through that bad junction, and take the lane marked for Bedford.
she Then you carry on the Bedford Highway and get to a road called Bayview. Turn left at Bayview. Keep straight on and don't turn off at Lacewood.
me Ok, I will be about 75 minutes. I will stop to look up a map online first.
she Ok, bye luv u.
me Bye, luv u.

Now here is the actual route I took.
Went down 102 highway, and took the Bedford Exit.
Went through Bedford and took Bedford Highway towards Halifax.
Turned right at Bayview.
Kept straight across Lacewood.
Road changed to Clayton Park Rd. at other side of Lacewood.
Went on until came to Ravenswood. No car, no Wife. Went into Ravenswood, and cruised around until it came to dead end, where the car was parked up in a driveway. Not at the junction.

I asked why she didn't just direct me to take the Bedford highway from the other end of it, and her reply was that it is "the long way around."
So, instead I get directed to an obscure park beside a bridge that I know when I get there, but have no idea how specifically to get to it. And from there past an irritating congested dog-eats-dog junction to get to the same place that I just actually cruised right to directly from the highway.

Living proof that women are irritating when giving directions. Not only do they have no concept that the listener does not know the roads etc, but they will actually get annoyed when told that the listener does not know the road mentioned.

Fortunately, women are pretty good to have around to cook meals and keep the bed warm.
And that's what this man thinks!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Why Do Women Give Bad Directions?

I just got back from a trip where I was intending to assist the missus by going to several of her worksites and do some work on her behalf. You know, give her a break.
Well, I never actually managed to get to all the places I wanted - I was able to get to the ones that had to be done, but I thought I would take the time to cruise around and take a look at the others places, so I could find them maybe during the week, and give her a hand.
So, I didn't find the places. I reviewed the directions when I returned, and I don't believe that I could get to all of them even now. The reason for this is the directions that women give in abot 99% of all cases, so to illustrate this, I will give an example of an actual journey description that I would give if asked, although I have changed the landmarks and road names. I will then follow this with a description that a typical woman might give for the same journey.

My Description:
Go out of this driveway, and turn left.
Go to the bottom of the road as far as you can go, where there is a stop sign at a 'T' junction.
Turn Right, and go about half a mile including passing a pizza place, until you reach a main crossroads where there is a stop sign with red flashing light and a gas station and pharmacy. Be careful, it is not a 4 way stop, the road going across has priority.
Turn Left, and go along for quite a few miles, I reckon maybe ten minutes, during this time you will pass Dorkville village sign, then Moronville, then as you carry on you will pass the signs for CretinTown. Once yo have reached the sign for CretinTown, slow down, because you have to turn off there.
Soon after entering CretinTown, you will see a Fire Station and Community Hall on the Right, with he name 'CretinTown Community Hall' on it.
Just past the Fire Station there is a small road on the right, I don't remember the name, but it is maybe 2 or 3 houses only past the Fire Hall.
Go down there and you will see a Yellow house on the left, maybe 3 houses down, and that is the one you want. The guy has a powerboat outside on a trailer, and the house has a garage at the Left side of it, but built in as part of the house. The guy runs a White Ford Pickup truck with an oil drum always sticking up from the bed.

Now the womans description:
Go down to the end of the road and turn right.
Go down to I think it is the next crossroads, and turn left.
Go a few miles until you are in CretinTown, and the road is just there on the right, with the house you want just a little bit up that road, it is really easy, you can't miss it, he might have a truck outside.

And that is why it is best to get directions from a guy!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Problems With Female Breasts That Guys Don't Think About.

Now, isn't this a great subject, hehehe.
I was walking in the back garden just now, thinking of maybe mowing grass, but deciding that there were too many bugs, when it occurred to me that for guys things are easy. We wear a shirt or a t-shirt, and just swat the bugs away as they buzz around.
For the chicks, it might not be that easy.
Gravity can work against cleavage to create issues. For instance, I am on the beach, and throw a handful of sand at the Missus. She has a low-cut top, say, and down the sand goes. It then sticks to the inside parts of the boobies, and causes friction as they move in relation to each other.
How about wasps and hornets? Get one of those trapped in there, and they will sting until someone reaches down in there, and separates the breasts to allow the insect out.
The good thing is, of course, that I would be able to happily conduct a rescue to any larger breasted chick any time that they want, insects or none. Smaller titties don't have the problem, of course. The separation that is inherent in the smaller tittie design allows easy escape for not only insects, but also humming birds, mice, small bunny rabbits, as well as giving good drainage for liquids such as beer, suntan oil, and of course, bird pooh.
On the other hand, the larger varieties allow for the crushing of bugs by simply pressing on the outside edges of both boobies. Or the asphyxiation of smaller mammals by means of the same technique.
Then we have the hot weather issues. It is generally bad to have outside epidermis (skin) pressed against itself. The moisture cannot evaporate. This can no doubt (I have a good imagination) cause fungus based problems similar to athletes foot. There are two answers to this - plenty of regular showers coupled with applications of powder, or get a bra that pulls the boobies apart and holds them under the arms.
The more I think about this, the happier I am in preferring small boobs.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Why Does Everyone Have Rights Except Men?

It is interesting to see how western society has developed into a rights-conscious entity. Kids have rights, so the ones who are clever can now abuse their parents without fear of a spanking. Women have rights that allow some of the more abusive ones to conduct life-long mental battles with their male counterparts.

Then there are the out-and-out b*tches who have the deliberate double standards - I heard of one, for instance, whom I knew personally as an acquaintance at one point, who was looking for threesomes on the internet, and posting nude pictures of herself, yet would adopt a high and mighty attitude at her workplace to any risque jokes that were made in her presence, and even, again at her workplace, would report guys she didn't like for sexual harassment if she happened to overhear a dirty joke, or part of a dirty joke they were telling another person.

I suspect it was triggered by her age and fading looks, coupled with an upbringing and low intelligence level, where she probably used her past good looks to manipulate men, and so did not develop a personality during her teenage years. In which case, it looks good on her that she is now suffering some kind of problem caused by her own past behaviour and failure to continue the same abuse as she could perpetrate when she was better looking. The power fades, the frustration increases.

I suspect that in Canada, as an ex-pat Limey, I could probably obtain government funding if I proposed a society for the maintenance of British cultural roots.
But, the worst thing to be in Canada these days is a Canadian-born white male.

Overall, I suspect that the reason why many good women enjoy having 'rights' is because they are not aware of the abusive use those same rights are put to by women with the desire to beat on men, whether the beating is physical, or even more common, extended long-term mental abuse.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Is Marriage Worth Looking After?

Now, here is a hot topic.
I have to say that if I was re-married to my first wife, it might last nearly a full day, but maybe not.
I just don't have the patience any more for the blackmail crap that takes advantage of my insecurity!
But, as far as the current marriage goes, well, what with the age difference, I have to admit I am not in the drivers seat so to speak.
So, I would look after it the best I can, but if in the end the Missus wants out, then I have no control over that, so, instead of begging or something, I would likely work to get her set up in life the best I could, and allow it to end if that was unavoidable after much discussion.
So, it is an interesting question.
A better question would be - "If you feel uncomfortable in a marriage, and feel like your good nature is being abused for years on end, would you carry on doing whatever the partner said you should do"?
And the answer to that is a resounding NO! Dump the situation, and move on.
Life is too short, and women like that are easy to replace with better ones.
Now, there is an idea - the disposable spouse. Better not let women get hold of that idea, or guys like me will be instantly dumped!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Ladies Topless Soccer - Not For Me!

I read somewhere that they had an international soccer match for topless women players.
I believe it was Austria versus Germany, but I could be wrong.
Now I am open-minded, I am a guy, I should LOVE this, right?
WRONG! - and here's why. If we look at the boobs of women (and I do, believe me, I do!) then we see that there are several things that might be regarded as 'constants' as far as trends go, and these are:
Some chicks have big ones
Some chicks have small ones.
Most chicks who have small ones would prefer them to be bigger (never could understand that insecurity problem)
Some chicks who play sports are young
Some chicks who play sports are somewhat older.
Chicks who are secure emotionally are likely to have big ones, and be older.
Therefore, and here comes my thinking on this - there is strong possibility that there will be more big boobed older players than any other category.
Now, what happens when chicks with big boobs get older? The boobs become heavy hangers, that's what.
Sure, I would be entertained, like for about 30 seconds. (Unless there were some small boobed ones in there, then I could spend the whole match waiting for the play for those players coming near to my side of the field)
I mean, it is like a trip in a speed boat. Lots of initial thrills, but it soon gets boring.
If there is one thing I can do without watching, it is a bunch of topless (and possibly hairy-armpitted) Euro-chicks playing a game I hate to watch anyway, and in so doing get me worried that they might be doing injury to their boobies in the process.
Now, mud-wrestling, yes. Maybe Pole-vaulting, where there is only one flap of the boobies. Gymnastics, definitely - just out of interest.
But topless soccer, no thanks.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Should People (As In 'Women') Be Allowed To Be Miserable?

It is part of normal human behaviour to try to give support to others if they appear to need it. If, for instance someone at work forgets their lunch, and others have some they can spare, they normally will offer it.
And when we see that someone has changed their behaviour, and gone quiet and sleeps a lot, then that can be a sign of depression.
The difference between women and men regarding this is that if then approached and asked if something is wrong, whereas a guy might well say something like, 'well, I have trouble at home, but its OK,' or 'nahh, nothing wrong, just a bit hung over', there have been many cases I have experienced where a woman will not give any information whatsoever. Now, I know that there are 'girls things' that can go wrong with women that they don't want to discuss, especially with a guy, but I get the impression that this behaviour is a control problem. You know, like, please BEG me to tell you.
My reason for this thinking is that often, the type of response from a woman when asked if something is wrong will be 'no nothing wrong'. (note the period) or 'no, I sometimes get like this'. If pushed 'like what?' - 'Just quiet that's all.'
There is no need for depression to exist if you have the support of friends. Maybe you have found your boyfriend or husband cheating, or that you have a terminal disease, or your boyfriend or husband has dumped you, or, whatever.
The avoidance of the giving of sufficient information to enable help or even discussion makes me think that perhaps such a person prefers to be miserable and wants others to be miserable in harmony with the misery. If this was not the case, then the answer would surely be 'I have some problems but I don't want to discuss then right now until I think about it' - or something similar.
Reminds me of in the distant past, when I used to get phone calls at work from someone who would tell me that they were about to commit suicide. Many times I would rush out from work and go to assist the person. In the end, I got wise. I realised that I could rush around as much as I like, but I cannot be the sentry to another person, especially when I attend work and they do not. I ended up one day at work on the phone replying 'OK, I will deal with the funeral arrangements then, have a good day, bye bye.'
So, whenever I come across this type of situation these days, I make a few attempts at approach, then once I have established that an attempt is being made at involving me in some kind of mind game, I distance myself as far away from the individual as I can, because I just don't have time for that kind of crap, I am too busy whining about taxes and governments, and or course corporate stupidity. Life is too short.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

How About Bimbos?

How about those bimbo type chicks? You know, the ones who are a bit cute, but have no brains at all. You can tell them something, and they appear to take it as being so. They are generally intimidated by anyone with, for instance, subtle humour, this being because they do not understand it, as they have small brains.

They do, however, understand the process of having fun. Partying, getting drunk. But the part that is attractive to guys is that they are generally easy. They have little sense of responsibility, and will generally just do whatever is suggested to them. This normally involves many things that wives won't do.

So, this is probably why guys who get divorced often go straight out and get hooked up with a bimbo. Their friends, the male ones anyway, will be totally impressed that the guy has hooked up with someone who looks hot. But, later, as the mental capability of the bimbo gets known, there will be gossip about 'what does he see in her?' And soon after, the relationship will fail, because the bimbo simplicity of mind is too boring to live with for long.

The sad thing is that otherwise intelligent women are intimidated by a bimbo. After all, the bimbo type is generally fairly young, innocent in mentality, and free of stress. And the intelligent woman knows how shallow men are, and how attractive a bimbo can be. Yet the reality is that intelligence in a woman is also a turn-on.

But here is what I think. How about, if, as a woman you are jealous of a bimbo, why not be one!
Why not have a 'bimbo for a day' day? Make your man happy by greeting him as he arrives home from work with something like 'Hi, I am your bimbo for the rest of the day, what do you want to do about that?' Hehehe.

Remember, most men like the simplicity of a bimbo woman, and the best bimbo is a wife bimbo, because she is the husbands bimbo and no-one else's. But, you have to remember - to be a bimbo, you have to accept everything without getting into discussion. If you don't want to do something, you say no. And if insisted upon, the answer has to be 'I said NO, now, think of something else'.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

When Women Do Housework, Should Men Work Too?

It is a sad fact of life for almost all men that when women are doing work around the home, then there is an expectation that the man should be working too.
As far as I personally go, if I am doing a job around the house, the last thing I want anywhere near me, or the house, is my Missus. In fact, I want to be strictly alone, concentrating on the job in hand, not distracted by the excessive noise that appears to be being deliberately created for some kind of proof that there is a woman working.
But, it is one of the differences between men and women. I can spend a full Saturday, say, replacing a car engine while she is visiting other gals, and then on the Sunday, the day I have planned to be my day of rest which is why I worked so hard on the Saturday, because she is then behind with her housework, she will be implying by body language and actions, as well as maybe after a while actually telling me, that I should be getting something done.
This is not a condemnation of my missus, because I believe it is a requirement of being a woman, or something, in short, 'they' all do it. Like PMS. A scourge, unfair, but unavoidable.
Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, you have to calm down here, and try and understand what guys are all about. We go to work, and that is the work. Home is for relaxing, maybe grab a beer if we are into it, and check out the sports or a movie on TV. We are not even aware of any household mess, and if one is pointed out to us, well, it can wait. If, as women you choose to work at home, that is your choice, feel free to scrub and polish as much as you like, I enjoy a clean house as much as anyone, but don't expect me to want to do the cleaning at the same time as you are doing it. You have your methods, guys have theirs. And my method is to never race to do what can be left.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

What Guys Say After A Chick Walks Away

Now, I don't want all you gals out there to get worried about the title, because if you are fairly average, the chances are that nothing will be said. However, (here it comes!) if you are a hottie in any way, comments will be passed around. To give you an actual example, a chick in tight clothes with a large chest walked away from a small group of guys the other day, and the subject went like this:

Hmmm, she has quite a rack.
Yes, I noticed that , too
Wonder if they jiggle when she runs?
I often wonder if it gets sweaty when the boobs are pressed together like that.
Only in hot weather, or if they don't shower.
Quite the ass, too.
Yeah, would you just like to give her a good doing?
You wouldn't get the chance, because I would be in there.
What turns me on is that she appears to work on her own car.
Yeah, you have to love that.
Oh, well, time to get back to work. (1 guy walks away)
Its great to see a pair that is natural
Yeah, although I prefer small ones anyway.
Yeah, boob jobs ruin the nipples.
They do?
Yeah, haven't you noticed?
No, I haven't experienced the 'after' to know that.
Oh, Yeah, ruined, stretches them right out of shape.
Hmmm, chicks ought to realise that it isn't the boobs that are the good part, it is the nipples.
Yes, I personally think that wire ought to be used for cattle fencing, not bras.
Yeah, and guitar strings, of course.

From that point on the subject changed to cars.

Now, I have often wondered what chicks say after guys have walked away. Maybe I ought to guess at what is said sometime.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

The Fashion Industry - Fashion, or Sex?

We have all seen fashion models walking down the runway, sometimes dressed in interesting, good looking clothing, but as often as not in silly looking clothing that is presumably designed only to please the 'in-crowd' of the designers friends who make up the majority of the runway show audience, and the reporters who have to be biased to stay fashionable in their commentaries.

Women Like To Look Attractive
Obviously, any woman wants to 'look good', but stepping back for a moment, what does 'good' mean? From a mans point of view, some might prefer naked as the ultimate in a woman looking good, but my own view is that it is far more exciting to have a level of mystery - after all, no-one has a perfect body, and even a body that I view as perfect one day will appear not so good the next day.

Cute, Or 'Defective'?
Again, this is back to my ideas and thoughts regarding womens bodies having merits whatever the shape, and coupled with that, having 'bad' points whatever the shape.
Take for instance, just so I can be clear, the gal who has her toes pointing in towards each other. This can look very sexy, exciting, cute, and girly, but it can also look 'defective', if I can use that word - in other words, a fault rather than an asset. And this opinion might vary from day to day.

The Human Female Peacock Syndrome
Obviously, part of selling fashion is selling sex. Even the simple ploys such as the exposing of a titty-crack, or cleavage as it is politely called (I can say 'titty' here, can't I?) are a method of making the clothing attractive to the woman, because, whether lesbians like it or not, and presumably they do because it gives them a chance to check out the chicks, it is natural for a woman to display herself in order to attract partners. And going back further in this thought, it is natural for guys to be attracted to the visual aspect of a woman. That is why chicks with big tits are able to get a partner.
Guys are mostly if not all, shallow to a degree, and probably more than 50% like big knockers on a chick. Leaving, don't forget, nearly 50% who like small titties, as mentioned in a previous post.

Do I Need To Get A Life?
Let me take a break here, because another thought just struck me - here I am actually writing this stuff - maybe I should get a life? Will this be my legacy once I am dead and gone, that I was honest about liking Asian chicks, and chicks of any kind with small titties, and dressed in tight clothing? The great thing about this blog is the title - I can ramble on, get distracted, and it still fits in with the subject matter!

The Fashion Industry. ........Back to the subject.
If you look at older fashion video footage, you will see a distance shot of the runway, so that you are able to see what the clothes look like, and the full length view holds the whole while, allowing the appearance of the clothes, and particularly combinations, to be seen properly.

Substandard Modern Video Production
With more recent footage, either the directing or the camera work is substandard, or maybe the cameraperson prefers to look at faces or torsos, or, particularly rear views, than the actual appearance of the clothing being modeled.
You will typically get a fleeting full-length glimpse of the approaching model, as the camera actually follows the rear view of the previous model, then as the camera pans onto the approaching model, it will also zoom right in, often away from the clothing and on to the face, where it will often stay until the model turns, at which time it will then hold a picture of the retreating full-length rear view.

Amateurish Camerawork
In other words, amateurish camerawork that is based on the director or the cameraperson thinking that they have to make the production clever in some way, instead of what it perhaps should be, a look at clothing so that viewers, both at the event, and on TV, can see if they would be interested in buying the items.

Back To My Thoughts
Or, like me, old guys with nothing better to do than see if the clothing makes the chicks look hot, and see if there are any outlines of nipples thrusting the clothing material outwards in a little cone.
Oh My God, I just read that last part over, and I really think that I must be a true pervert. But then, I can rationalise, and justify myself as being one of the few guys on the planet who brazenly admits to enjoying things that he enjoys and is open enough for it to be public!

Models Or Strippers?
Back to the subject. There is also an increasing trend for the models to be acting like strippers. Obviously, a lingerie show is all about being and looking sexy, but the whole point is that it should be discreet and provocative, not like the large-chested individual I saw on one program on TV recently, who actually removed her bra. She admittedly had a big and dare I say MAGNIFICENT rack, but, first of all, I don't find big hangers attractive, just interesting, and second, it was supposed to be a fashion show, not a strip show.

Whatever were they thinking?

Monday, May 12, 2008

The Chicks In the TV Reality Show 'Survivor"

What can one say about the chicks in Survivor? Howard Stern said it all on his radio show after the first season. As I remember, he said he would like to compete, but not to win the million bucks, it was just to see if he could bang the chicks on the show.
Now, I'm not saying that I am the same way, and it has nothing to do with not wishing to appear to be a chauvinistic pig, remember, this is about what men, and in particular , ME, are thinking, not what we are doing.
The same thought as Howard's does cross my mind of course. Some of those chicks are HOT looking, but, would a guy be wanting, in reality, to get involved with such people at any level? I guess there are guys that can, and those that can't, but I am a relationship type guy, I just can't go around banging chicks on islands, however flat their underfed little bellies are. It is not that part of me does not want to, but the brain kicks in and gets things under control. I mean, sure, I want to go around banging those chicks, especially towards the end when the cellulite has disappeared, but, I have a friend who is my best friend who is my wife. Damn nuisance really.......I could have so much fun if my wife was a miserable bitch. Not that as a guy over 60, 200 pounds with hair and teeth missing I am a good attractive proposition, but these are just thoughts.
Now, another drawback is that it would be like having a relationship with a call-centre chick - you just KNOW that you will be manipulated.
So, sigh, sigh, I guess as far as Survivor chicks go, I'll have to pass on that one. And I can always rationalise by thinking some more thoughts, like what will they look like once they have gorged themselves in a greasy burger feeding frenzy, and put on 30 or 40 pounds? Not that I don't like plump chicks, but a Survivor chick that is heavy would be out of context. It is the same as titties. They come in all shapes and sizes, and they all have merits, and they all can, I am sure, be fun!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Some Hospital Emergency Room Thoughts

Yes, I am old. I had a situation yesterday morning while alone, when I suddenly had a massive chest pain, and for a few seconds though I might be taking the big trip. If so, hopefully it would have been up, not down!
So, I had a restful day - heck, I couldn't even blog the pain was so great. I tried, but had to use one hand to support my body at the desk. Once the Missus came home, I was able to go to the Emergency Room to get checked out - this is free here in Canada - eat your heart out, US residents!! So, I was plugged into a monitoring TV screen thingy, a computer, that's what it was, hehehe, and fed oxygen, and they took several EKG readings over a period of a few hours.
And I swear to God, that while I was hooked up, I was looking over at some chick who was using a computer at a desk across the other side of the room, and I was thinking 'she must be really skinny to be able to wear a horizontally striped sweater without it making her look fat, her arms are skinny too, gotta love that'.
Now, this thought immediately went to what it would be like to have sex with her, but, that thought is never surprising to me, as whenever I look at any woman, I think that very same thought, young old, fat, thin, ...always.
Now, another thing I was thinking, once the Missus arrived, was whether it would be possible to have some quiet sex by pulling the curtain around the bed I was on. (With the Missus, not the skinny arm chick......hmm, on the other hand, threesome comes to mind, I have never done that, and the hospital might have been just the place. Remember, these are thoughts only, I never actually have the courage to do any of the stuff I think about.) Then I dismissed the idea, because it might tangle up the wiring I had all around and attached to little sticky tab things all over me. But, again I did some more thinking, it would be interesting to see the increase in blood pressure and pulse rate while the act was being perpetrated, although maybe it might trigger some kind of 'oh my God' alarm at the nurses station. Anyway, I resisted the temptation, not that there was enough arousal anyway, especially with some old lady audibly praying in the next bed. The Missus wouldn't have gone for it anyway, too darn conservative, thinks I am a pervert. Hmm, probably correct. Anyway, in this case I can understand it, as, after all, she might need treatment at the same hospital at some time! But, we are talking about thoughts here, not reality.
Another thing I was thinking of while I was laying there, was about what it would be like to have a pacemaker fitted, then stand beside a microwave oven while watching the monitor. Hmmm, my thinking right now is that the experimentation might not be worth dying for. On the other hand, I have always wondered what it would be like to die in a rapidly descending disabled aircraft, and how interesting it would be to see how the other people on board react to the certainty of the impending doom. But that doesn't mean to say that I would choose to try it!
Oh, and the tests came out OK. Muscle strain or arthritis of the chest joints.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The Way Chicks Stand

Have you ever noticed that the ways that males and females stand still are different from each other? I know that the walk is generally different, but we can put that down to the wider pelvic bone of the gals, made that way in order to allow great big things to pass by, these things are called babies. Hmmmm, that last sentence had some potential that I have chosen to leave well alone!
But, the fact is, that when a chick is standing, say, waiting for a bus, she will generally have one leg bent in a certain way compared to the other. It is a bit like those fashion models, just before they do their turning around at the end of the runway, they kind of stop for a second with one hip side lower than the other - actually, I can't even describe what it is that they do, but I do know that a guy would have to be a raving gay dude to replicate it.
There have been studies done showing that female children favour girl type toys naturally, and that even monkeys will do the same, the females preferring dolls to play with, the males other 'masculine' items. That is why this subject fascinates me so much. Just occasionally, I see a young girl way under the age of puberty behaving, as far as body language goes, just the same as a 'woman' does. I wonder if it is a copy-cat situation, or maybe there is something genetically in females that will cause this. Another interesting thing about this is that around the age of puberty, the gestures become more exaggerated. That is when the 'standing thing' starts to really happen.
I do have a sneaking suspicion though that it is partly at least put on deliberately to make the belly look flatter by having the body twisted slightly!!!
Anyway, keep it up, gals, it looks great.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

About Bras And Titties.

Bras. They really have gone downhill. These days, they are all made from a sponge material, that makes all titties look like they are the same shape. Ladies, you have boring titties! Pay Attention now!
Now, the way to make your titties so that they are not boring is to remove the stereotypical bra so that the true titty shape, whatever it might be, shows through.
I mean, guys are easy to please, you just have to pay attention. For a start, just because you have no bra, doesn't mean that the wqhole world is interested or even aware of that fact. Only the true titty lovers will be aware, and they are titty specialists, so if you imagine that your particular set is new to all, then forget it - there is so much porn around these days that I for one believe that I have seen just about every titty shape format that fate has ever produced.
Stop being insecure, as well. Although most guys have a fave titty shape, we can also be fascinated by other shapes and sizes. For instance , I like the firm ones, but I also appreciate the bouncing floppy ones, just for fun.
So ladies, lighten up, get those darn rounded foam monstrosities off forever, and let those nipple outlines thrust through your tops. Be bold, have fun! You don't have the only rack that men have ever seen.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Men Are Unfair To Women

Women don't really have a fair chance in life. It is part of being a guy to be shallow minded, and to judge chicks (remembering that I am over 60, so chicks can be up to maybe fifty if they look hot) on looks/appearance as the main criteria.
What is the saying? - 'Women give sex to get love, and men give love to get sex!' - that was it. It is actually not as easy as that, but I have to stay focussed right now, as the subject here is how women can never win......

Now, when guys look at gals, they are often thinking things like 'Hmmm, does she have a big rack?' Or, 'I wonder if she is a lot older than she looks' Or, 'she looks like a slut who might be a real go-er' Now, that is one extreme, there are other possible thoughts, like - 'hmm, she has long/short/fat/thin legs' Or, similarly, 'she has arms like a guy', or whatever. So, society suppresses this, as it is impolite, but the guys still think it anyway.
I have a sneaking suspicion that gals do the same, except it might be 'Hmmm, I bet he makes over a hundred grand' Or, 'I bet he isn't married, no woman would allow her husband to go out in those unfashionable clothing matches' Or, 'I bet he hangs his thingy down his left leg, I think I can see the outline of it' Or, 'I bet he is a hunk, I would like to be taken by him' Or whatever it is that is the mystery of what women think, that I know nothing about.
Heck, I don't even really know for sure what men are thinking, but I probably have a slightly better idea than women do. Society has, after all, suppressed men from admitting what they are really thinking, by making such thoughts unacceptable.

Back to the topic. Women don't have a chance, because what guys think can change depending on mood or individual taste.
Now, an example of this is skinny bow-legs. If a chick is slightly bow-legged, then she can look really above average hot wearing pants or jeans. Take the same chick and put her into a dress that is for, say, church going, that the hem is just below the knee, and she looks less hot, because the bent lower legs need the outline of the upper leg for balance to avoid the bow-legged look becoming visually extreme. The dress hides the line of the thigh, accentuating the bent calves.
My point here is that the same chick that is a major hot item can also be less than hot, just by changing clothes. So, even such a hottie can never be always hot. This leads to insecurity in a womans mentality. She really can never win. What makes matters worse is that advice is received from other women, who have about as much idea as the main subject individual, who will tend, in her own insecurity, to take the advice as being a better plan than her own plan for style.
Let's face it, most western women have fat butts. And the one way to make an oversize fat butt look even bigger is to have no interruption in the visual line. This is done by not having a plain piece of material covering the butt cheeks. The line can be nicely interrupted by a pocket, or some seaming, or added on motifs, whatever it takes, but break up that line. Yet, time and time again, we see chicks with butts that are somewhat oversize wearing jeans or pants with no pockets at the back, no seams, nothing except that blimp-skin cloth area that might even look better with the word 'Goodyear' across it, at least the line would be broken up.
Oh, Yes! guys are shallow, and I am actually probably one of the shallowest. For a dude who is old, bald, and has a large nose, pallid complexion, low income, and small house, I take the cake for having specifications for my taste in women that are totally impossible to ever achieve.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Shit Shaker In Nepal

A little off topic for my usual tongue in cheek comments about male to female juxtapositions:
I just watched a documentary on the PBS network. It was about children being sold into slavery at the age of about 11 years old, for the sum of about $350 for the year of servitude they submit to.
But this post is not about that, it is about the words on the side of a bus that briefly appeared in the documentary. Now bear in mind I did not get a photo of it, so you will have to take my word for it, but I am trustworthy, right? I mean, brutal honesty is the whole point of this particular blog.
So, I was in stitches when I saw the name SHIT SHAKAR on the side of the bus. Now, if we anglicize that it becomes Shit Shaker. How appropriate for a Nepalese bus that travels on dirt roads. A journey on such a vehicle will surely cause the passengers to get the shit shaken out of them.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Why Do Women Not Fart The Same As Guys Do?

This is one of the mysteries of life, like if a tree falls in the forest, and no-one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? I am 61 now, and for the first, maybe 35 years of that time, I often pondered the question of female farting.
Now, when in the company of guys, it is sometimes (depending on who the guys are) appropriate to not only release the fart noisily, or as we say 'with great gusto', but to then expect to be congratulated upon the feat. As we get older of course, we tend to have higher risk farts, and so therefore will become less competitive about them, for fear of the function provoking a need for underwear checking.
Women on the other hand are less likely to do this, from what my own research can indicate. I am sure that as a function the gases still have to be released, in fact I read in a newspaper article that a healthy human farts about five times a day. I believe that the ultimate research would be to monitor sounds within a ladies public washroom, and see if, especially seeing as they are sitting down and have a low risk situation, there are any farting sounds emitted. Now, if we follow that thought, the problem is answered.
Women generally do their farting while peeing, therefore the following synopsis probably applies:
1 - The male population are not exposed to the actual performance either in audible, or gaseous terms.
2 - The female population are not exposed to the audible results, as the body positioning is not conducive to good epidermal vibratory impacts. Any gaseous results will be masked by defecatory aromatics within the abode. In short, the farts if any, are silent, and the washroom stink masks any smells.

Conclusion. The male belief that women do not fart is now an exploded myth, thanks to my analytical thinking as per above.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Why Do Women Wear Ugly Clothes?

Why Do Women Wear Ugly Clothes? This is a simple question, and it has a simple answer. They all get together with their friends, some of whom are not friends at all, and they discuss things like the Sears catalog, and the clothes that are shown in there. So, one of them will say, "Oh , I like these pants, they are really smart" and the others, to be polite, will agree. Then, if any of them are in the least insecure, they will take the comments as being real opinions, instead of casual conversation, and will go out and buy the awful pants in question. Then they wear them. And the others, to be polite, don't say things like "With a fat butt like yours, you ought to stay away from pants without rear pockets" Or "With short stumpy legs like you have, you should try vertical stripes" No, instead they say, "Oh, I like your new pants, they look really smart". So the chick with the fat butt wears the ugly pants, and never knows the true reality. Now, Ladies, we all know how to overcome this dilemma. You email the pictures of you wearing the clothes to me and I will give a brutally honest opinion that your husband will be too afraid to give, for the simple fact that he lives with you. Not only that, I will post it on the Internet to get the opinions of all the world. No, not really...... But in a later post entry I might be persuaded to give you all a few guidelines on how to look hot no matter what your body shape or weight is. After all, this isn't about 'looking smart' this is about looking great, and hot.

My New Blog

http://legendinmymind.com/

Just a backup blog, really. Might try to get some amusing entries in there though, if I can.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Do Girls Train To Become Women?

I have often suspected that as girls grow up, they go through a training period where they take on the attitudes, dress habits, poses, walking gaits, and more features as well, of fully grown women. Around the age of 12 to 14, I suspect the hormones are changing, and the attitude stuff begins, making them impossible to reason with. Meanwhile, they have the breast thing going on, and presumably the monthly cycle as well, and around this time they learn that they can actually call the shots, and manipulate the guys. Like this Gal:



What gets me is the look on her face, just full of glee and happiness, the reason being that she knows that it is true.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Chicks In Hot Sports Cars

What do I think about chicks in hot sports cars? Well, this is generally an older chick thing, as generally they are married to some rich dude. Not that women can't justifiably make as much money as guys, just that society has discriminated against women based on gender, often in subtle ways, so, what I am saying is statistically, expensive sports cars that have female drivers are likely to have a male involved in the purchase of that vehicle. Plus, of course, buying a wife or girlfriend a car is a great way to try to get laid, at least in the mind of an uninspired guy.....
Well the first thing I think is, "Is she a hottie, what is she wearing?" Second, if she is wearing anything low cut, or loose in any way with openings I think "Is there any way I can see down her top". Actually, I should have done a post first on general things that are a 'given' , like for instance, in every case where a woman wears a low cut top, and in particular if the top is a loose fit, I always check to see if it would be possible to see more. I believe this to be natural curiosity, but it might be that I am a demented sexual deviant. Now, my wife, with whom I tend to be brutally honest, knows that I do this, and often will slap me playfully around the face just because a woman with a low top is approaching, and tell me not to be such a pervert, yet at the time of hand impact, I might well have done nothing......yet.

Is Your Bra Strap Twisted?

It is a natural thing that if we are in public, and we know, for instance, that our breath stinks because we just ate food with garlic, then there is a tendency to turn our faces away from others so as not to embarrass ourselves.
And so it is with chicks. As we walk towards them and stare at them because they are hot, or might be hot, or have tight clothing, or may have no bra, then if the gal has a bra strap twisted, she will look down so as not to make eye contact (this is after the initial eye contact has occurred) and will reach up to the affected shoulder strap of her bra, and then either try to fix the twist, or, realise what she is doing, and force herself to pull her hand away. So, what has this to do with what men are thinking? Well, when it happens, I am thinking:
"Hot! Her strap is twisted. Now, if she had no top on, I could just pull that darn strap right down out of the way."

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Big Boobs - Not Required!

Big boobs on a chick (ages 18 to maybe 50) are probably a good thing for most guys to look at. But, I suspect that the reality as far as what is really wanted in, say, a wife or girlfriend, is statistically different. When guys discuss boobs, they will generally mention really big hangers in admiration, but when pressed, they will use the term "nice boobs" not "big boobs" as a term of being what they want.

This could wreck the phony boob industry. Once chicks realise that they don't need transplants to attract guys (or gals!!!) then the female boob insecurity in general will decrease, and chicks will stop getting those weird looking globe-like things installed.

Friday, March 21, 2008

I Finally Started This Subject!

I have always wanted to speak my mind publicly. I tend to do it at home, it is called being truthful, and all the women I have ever discussed this subject with stress it as a need they have in a man, like, never telling lies. For a guy it has risks. Are we supposed to go through life lying to protect the feelings of others? I say, somewhat...... It would be wrong to always be so blunt that every conversation is a combat situation that ends in pain. So, my rule is, keep it as truthful as I can, but do not go out to hurt anyone by name-calling. It is a pity it is that way, because it would be great to be like the TV show Little Britain, but I am unable to go that far and have a clear conscience.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Spammers

Spammer IP addresses that left comments on another blog I have


212.192.251.111
62.84.110.97
80.252.134.72
212.192.251.96
212.192.251.101



125.126.238.168
125.34.142.72

219.90.115.243

60.162.220.95
64.166.145.2
64.166.145.2


75.16.27.70
76.225.158.176
75.61.104.76
76.225.158.104
76.235.156.230
75.61.102.97



80.252.134.72

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Fan-like nose blows wife away!


This is a genuine filler unpaid post. When I toss and turn in bed, trying to get some room due to the missus's triangular sleeping habits (diagonally across the whole bed space), I often come to rest facing her. I might well then experience the grunting elbow/forearm smash, as my face is forced to turn away. When we were first married, I enquired as to why this was happening, and was told that it is because my (very ample, I am nasally well endowed, and have big feet, too!) nose is like a fan, blowing masses of cooling air across the room. Often, this sirocco like wind will become vortexed, and actually pick up objects from the room, and rotate them in a maelstrom, like a tornado. This is why I stopped leaving my false teeth to steep in a tumbler, as one night, the contents got picked up, and I ended up not only soaked to the skin, but also slightly bitten!
Now, what about my heavy breathing story, well, for years now I have been answering the phone to the wife's and my Filipina friends, and I have always had the impression that they had the hots for me, because I am such a Gods gift to women. My reason for this deduction was that they always seemed to have a husky heavy breathing deal going on as soon as they heard my voice. But, alas, my bubble has recently been burst, as I came to realise that the noise was caused by the horizontal nostrilization of the nasal passages causing a whirlwind in the phone mouthpiece. I am, of course, shattered by this knowledge, but it does explain why I have always got weird looks from other Filipina wives when I wink at them, knowingly. Actually, I am of course, lying, I never wink at other dudes wives, I merely have a twitching eyelid caused by nerve degeneration during my first marriage!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

big bang

*Start Copy Here*

You do not have to be tagged to play along. This game is simple and so are the rules.

1. Copy from *Start Copy Here* through *End Copy Here*

2. Add your site(s) to the list. Just be sure to post at each site you add.

3. Tag or don’t tag, your choice, however, the more tags you create the bigger the list will grow.

4. Let me know your blog’s name and url by leaving me a comment HERE. I will add you to the master list. (If you would like a scroll box code, leave me your email address and I will email it to you.) Scroll Box Example. (I decided not to use the box for the Big Bang for ease of copying.)

5. Come back and copy the master list back to your site, often. This process will allow late-comers to get as much link benefit as the first ones in. Once you are on the master list people who have participated earlier will update their bookmarks and help everyone lower than them out on the list.

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